December 01, 2009

Long day ended

It’s been a day of endless small details, dropped server connections, lost tax numbers and a numb backside from sitting at the computer. Uploads, downloads, emails, answered and unanswered phone calls. Not a musical day. Not even a thoughtful day.

There are guitars hanging on the wall of my small studio. I walk by it dozens of times a day on my way to the room in which my computer waits. Every time, I feel a pang of guilt and make a mental note to next time enter it. Guilty days go by and I never step into the little room, never touch a guitar, a pen – never cross the threshold. Never ponder anything more than a sore hip or when I might be able to travel to Florence.

My guilt about avoiding the office is not equal to the the guitar guilt. It’s worse, because I know it’s a part of my work and I can’t get around it.  I can’t skip by the dining room, either, which looks like the back room of a Shopper’s Drug Mart postal outlet. Tape gun, return address rubber stamp, padded envelopes, black Sharpie (so different than a Shar-Pei), stamps and a postal scale. And the telephone. It weighs 100 pounds and I have to be in particularly good nick in order to pick it up, whether it be answering or calling. It’s a glamourous life I lead.

When I muse over the keyboard like this, I recall a friend’s recent comment: who cares? In response, I might have quoted Roscoe Holcomb, the departed claw-hammer banjo player and old time singer. Talk about a high lonesome song. After a performance, a man told him that the song sounded good enough, but that he couldn’t hear the words. Holcomb replied: Mister, I was singin’ that for me – not you.

Some days are like that. Some blogs are like that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApwS4L8exYo

He’s singin’ that for him. Not us.

COMMENTS

One Response to “Long day ended”
  1. Jane Greening

    Good blog. Procrastination and artistic block. It will pass.